A long lapse of silence....watching life happen daily.

Since my last post end of May a world of events, life experiences, travel, and things have happened. The intensity of life over these past several months has left me literally without the energy to blog. A long list of these events would serve no purpose other than to justify my long lapse of silence but in the end I realize that the lives of most people are equally as full or more so. Now that the deadlines have been met for publishing all new leadership development materials for Christian Camping International, Latin America, and we have come and gone from our beloved city of Pittsburgh for a month, and we have gone and come back from a month of training in El Salvador, and Valerie and Victor are back in school, I am fully easing back into a delightful routine.

I watch life happen daily.

I watched one of our supervisors give a training on "Holy Play" to 4 new Sunday School teachers to teach our 5-7 year old Bible stories using wooden figures and a contemplative approach, inviting children to enter into the story, retell the story, and express their thoughts and feelings to God through art materials.

I watch our beautiful daughter Valerie grow from a child to a soon-to-be teenager (Dec. 21 she'll be 13). She loves to read!

I watch Victor deepen his love and appreciation for God's Word.

I watch my marriage with Alfredo grow and mature as we continue to struggle through our different temperaments and cultural backgrounds.

I have been out of a regular routine for so many months that I find myself delighting in those small, repetitive tasks like picking up the kids from school, taking them to their sports classes, helping them with homework, and "debriefing them on the High-Low of their day,"  having lunch with Alfredo when he's around, brushing the dog, etc.

I anticipate taking the time to unpack the wonderful lessons learned over these past months of business but at the same time, I am enjoying life happening daily.

What is one repetitive aspect of your life that you find yourself enjoying?
I'd love to hear about it! Tell me about it by posting your comments below.

How does my family feel with my travels?

We are in the airport, Alfredo, the children and I and the idea occurs to me to take out some index cards and ask my family to write me a little note that I can carry around with me during the next three weeks I’ll be absent while on a trip to Argentina to teach the Institute for Forming Instructors (IFI).

In celebration of our 15 years of marriage (April 13, 1996), I share the note that Alfredo wrote to me so you can see why I am more in love with this man than ever.

Jan. 19, 2011

One more trip.

One more opportunity to learn about my wife.

Invariably your absences allow me to miss new parts of you.

I love your presence in my life.

I love your enthusiasm.

I love your passion to live and to help me live giving priority to the family.

I love glorifying God together.

Nevertheless, I always knew that I was called to share you and let other be touched by God through you.

Enjoy your trip.

Allow the Lord to indicate what is your responsibility and what is His.

We will be here, taking care of the “kingdom” and waiting for the “queen” to return.

Your forever boyfriend,

Alfredo

When I shared this with a friend, Patricia, she said: Too bad he’s already married, were it not so, I’d take him!

Here's what Valerie and Victor wrote.

Do not linger

This is what I sensed the Lord advised me regarding lingering over what people had written to me for my 50^th birthday. The more I ponder exactly what my influence has been in someone’s life, the more I expose myself to the danger of pride. So, for me, do not linger is good advice. As long as I would read with an eye toward what God had accomplished and how I was merely an instrument in His hands, God would get the glory.

What a subtle temptation since outwardly it looks the same but inwardly God knows my heart and He warns me of danger ahead if I try to figure out how I did this or that, or if I should try to do more of this and less of that… all those ponderings assume that I am the key player. Wrong assumption. I am merely a tool in the Master’s hand, to be used or not used as He sees fit.

This lesson is like a revolving door, it keeps coming back to me given that the nature of missionary work is all about influence. Even my job title, Director of Leadership Development (Christian Camping International, Latin America), lends itself to strategizing about how to influence others who will in turn influence others…on and on the chain of influence goes. I am convinced that I am a link in that chain, but need to remind myself over and over that Someone else is in charge of creating the chain and making the connections. I am to remain faithful to walk in the Spirit and be responsive to His promptings.

What has the Lord been prompting you to do recently? Any good advice you want to pass along to me? (click on the comments below to share)

Nice to meet you Senor Turkey!

Nice to meet you Senor Turkey! I have only seen you in the movies. I have always wondered what Thanksgiving was all about.

Such were the words of our Honduran friend, Cesar Alonzo, who for the first time met a real turkey (and no, he was not referring me to me! :)





We delighted in telling them the story of Thanksgiving starting with a multiple choice question:
Thanksgiving is....
a. A historical event
b. A US holiday
c. A Christian way of living
d. All of the above

We shared that according your belief, that's how you celebrated. If it was just an event in the past, you would associate Thanksgiving with Pilgrims and Indians. We did read them a story about the event itself in 1621. If you believed it is just a US holiday, you would appreciate the day off and remember to "be thankful", not to anyone in particular, but just a neutral kind of feeling. Lastly, if you believe Thanksgiving is a Christian way of living then you would make special effort to express to the Lord God all that you were grateful for.
Indeed, Thanksgiving is all the above, and we are thankful at having shared with our beloved friends and family (Silvia and Alfredo's cousin Alejandra were present) the joyous occasion.

Don't read a book Mom, ask me!

How do you explain to a child what you do to get a PhD?
Phone conversation:
"Hi Mom, how are you? What ya doing?"
"Well sweetie, your Mommy is studying quite a bit and does lots of homework."
With concern in her voice, Valerie queried, "How can you still be in school when you are as old as you are?" (probably beginning to wonder if Mother had been held back for many years and was repeating a grade....)
"Well, Valerie, learning is a life-long process, you don't stop learning just because you graduate from High School."
"Hmm. I don't know if I want to keep doing homework the rest of my life," she said with a worried voice. "What are you studying about Mom?"
"Well, interestingly enough we are studying children and how they grow and develop."
"Silly Mommy, you don't need to read a book about children, just ask me. I'm a kid!"

Back in family

After being apart for the last 8 months, I feel like I am “back in family.” We have a saying in our Christian Camping International that says: Somos una familia. We are family! (sounds like a song!)

This week, prior to a CCI/LA event, the Congress for Camp Site Directors, we are meeting and what a joy it is. Let me present to you my family, from right to left, here we are:

Robert Bruneau is the executive director of CCI/LA and of Camp Roblealto. His position as director of a camp site enables him to have his finger on the pulse of the camping world in Latin America and around the globe since he also serves on the Executive Committee of CCI/Worldwide. As staff members, we are all self-starters and have plenty of initiative so his unique ability to see the big picture and envision long-range plans is essential to direct and coordinate our efforts.

Nina Perez de Bruneau, Robert’s wife, is our CCI/LA International Events coordinator and juggles these responsibilities together with her role as wife and mother of two young daughters. Her eye for logistical details and resourcefulness makes it a pleasure to participate in an event planned by her.

Marisol Morgan, a Panamanian, drove 18 hours on a bus to arrive to our staff meeting. Marisol, a mother of two teenage daughters, serves as administrator and regional coordinator of Mexico/Central America. She is very thorough and careful in handling administrative details which is a relief for the rest of us.

Bob Sabean, the veteran member of the staff, one of the founders of CCI in Latin America and author of numerous articles, monographs and currently working hard on writing a 10-chapter book on The Theology of Recreation. Bob brings a marvelous perspective to any and all discussions, bringing to bear theological and historical issues as well as simply providing a valuable voice of experience. His congenial manner and great sense of humor make us all laugh with his anecdotes.

Bessy Macotto is the regional director for South America for CCI/LA and just flew in from Buenos Aires, Argentina. Her face was aglow as she walked into the cabin where we were meeting, Pinch me, she exclaimed, I can’t believe I’m here! Thanks to the encouragement and support of Miguel Angel De Marco, from our mission agency, Latin America Mission, Bessy is able to be present for this vital encounter.

These people make up the full-time missionary staff with whom I work virtually everyday so imagine the joy we experience when we finally are face-to-face. The virtue of this family is that all year we anticipate our time together, the relationships are healthy, a spirit of cooperation reigns among us giving no place for rivalry or “one-up-manship.” One’s success or accomplishments are another’s as well. The standard practice in our meetings is: Relationships first, then business. Evidence of this reality is the following anecdote.

Bessy entered breathlessly, set down her suitcases, threw out her arms and received the embraces of all of us. An hour before we had begun the staff meeting but with her arrival we all gathered around and with a focused gaze asked her: How are you? Tell us some of the accomplishments the Lord has given you this past year. Bessy launched into a detailed description of the team of instructors she is forming (Xenia from El Salvador, Analu from Peru, Patricia from Argentina and herself). Together they teach 6 courses per week in 3 different cities of Argentina. Intertwined in her sharing were lessons the Lord has been teaching her and the personal growth she has been experiencing. After nearly two hours of sharing and stories, laughing and crying, Bessy somewhat bashful said: “Sorry to have taken so much time from the staff meeting….” Bob placed his hand on her shoulder, looked her in the eye and said: “We are family. Family comes first, then business.”

Amen and amen!

Tell me about your experiences working in teams, what has it been like for you?

Learning to receive criticism gracefully....

Going back to school has provided the Lord with a new means of knocking off my rough edges. I believe we are "diamonds in the rough" and God lovingly molds and shapes us into greater conformity to the image of His Son.
Although necessary, that process is not pleasant. Let me give a recent example.
For almost every class I take at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (TEDS), a final paper is due. This paper typically requires long hours of reading, researching, investigating and synthesizing what you have read into a well-written document. I enjoy writing and so after some 100 hours of work all-told, I finished my paper just in time to receive the work team North Way Christian Community (Pittsburgh) first of August. I was pleased and anticipated good feedback and a good grade.
Several weeks later I received my grade and the feedback.
The teacher graded my paper as a B- and gave me an opportunity to re-submit it, should I choose to improve it. In addition, my professor generously invested the time to give me detailed feedback on exactly why my paper did not meet doctoral standards.
I was not a happy camper.
Why was I not a happy camper?
My first theory was that the teacher was mistaken.
My second theory was I needed only to tweak my paper.
My third and final theory was that theories one and two were wrong.
Just like I teach my children that their teachers are their God-given authorities and must be obeyed and submitted to, God was giving me the opportunity to apply my own teaching.
After re-reading my paper in light of the professor's comments, I came face to face with my own incompetency. I thought I knew how to write. But not at this level. I moved to another level: I went from being unconsciously incompetent to being consciously incompetent. Ouch.
The crux of theory three is that the problem was me. My pride was hurt. As I shared my dilemma with my prayer partner and friend Marcela, she gracefully told me that I was very good at offering constructive criticism to others and that God was using this minor setback to help me become aware of how others might feel when I critique them.
Ouch.
Growth in sensitivity to others comes with a cost and God loves me enough to correct me.
What has made this experience particularly memorable is that I have re-written my paper in an effort to learn how to write academically sound papers.
In summary:

• Be humble and accept criticism.
• Don't become defensive.
  
• Study how to write academic papers. Read books on it.
  
• Re-read my paper with at least two other people to get their feedback.
• Find my own voice, don't just nicely compile and organize other people's quotes.
• Synthesize, not summarize what others write on the subject.

I have a long way to go in learning both to give and receive criticism gracefully, I thank God for His patience and persistence.

What area of growth are you currently struggling with? Share your comments, I"d love to hear them, we can learn together.

You haven't seen anything yet!

The other day I stood in my bedroom and looked out the window on the life God has given me.
...the children, home two weeks from school due to the swine flu playing gleefully out in the yard with the five puppies our dog Fofer just had....
...my husband peacefully working across the hallway in the home office...
...me, sweaty from riding my stationary bike...blessed with good health...

...Lord, I sighed, "I feel almost guilty I'm so blessed..... I've done nothing to deserve this or earn it....
Almost imperceptibly, I heard God whisper:
You haven't seen anything yet! Wait until you get to heaven. This is but a taste of what is yet to come. This is my nature, generous beyond belief.

I literally laughed out loud, joyfully surprised by His whimsical nature. I hadn't expected such a response, it sounded almost like: You ain't seen nothing yet! :)

Can you relate? Have you ever felt so blessed that you actually feel a twinge of guilt?
Tell me about it by clicking on "observations" below and sharing your story.

Lead not for the applause

LEAD NOT FOR THE APPLAUSE

Henri Nouwen’s book, In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership (1994) took me a few hours to read, but I fear it’ll take me a lifetime to live. His anti-intuitive advice on leadership couldn’t be timelier for me since the question that drove me to pursue further studies has been: How do you develop leaders who develop leaders? Perhaps through this little book, I am catching the first glimpses of an answer, but it is very different from what I expected.

• Do not lead out of your competence, lead out of your vulnerability.
• Do not lead out of your self-confidence; lead out of your fullness in knowing you are loved unconditionally, completely, without limits by God the Father.
• Do not lead like the “Lone Ranger Pilgrim”; lead willing to be hidden behind or alongside of others unseen, not in the spotlight.
• Do not lead for the applause you may acquire; lead others to follow the One you so fervently follow.
• Do not purpose to lead in this manner as if it were a TO-DO-LIST item that you could eventually check off your list.

To lead in this manner is not a question of working harder, or knowing the right model to emulate, learning the right skill set, reading the right books, knowing the right people, growing in my competencies. This, by the way, is precisely how I was approaching my time of studies at Trinity. Thank you Lord for showing me just how misguided I have been.

Nouwen (1994) points out that you can only overcome these temptations by adopting spiritual practices, something akin to learning to run a marathon by diligently jogging and training everyday. The spiritual discipline of contemplative prayer reminds us that being a leader is not about feeling important and competent; it is all about answering the question Christ put to Peter before he sent him on a mission to feed His sheep. Do I love you Jesus? Do I love you Jesus? Do I love you Jesus? Pondering that question reminds me that leading is not about me, it is not about what I do or do not do. It is not about my successes and accomplishments nor about the goals I set and reach. It is all about knowing that I am loved unconditionally and without limits and in response to His first love (I John 4:19) I can guide others to be loved by Him as well.

The spiritual disciplines of confession and forgiveness will keep you vulnerable and aware of your need for others, definitely not traits most leadership books would preach about! Do I make it a regular practice to admit my shortcomings to my team? Not enough since most of them see me as “having it all together.” A friend of ours asked me the other day: Have you ever struggled with this? My husband Alfredo quickly jumped in and described a time in our marriage when we struggled with something similar but I was left with the sensation that even to our closest friends, I can unwittingly project a competent attitude which will inevitably create distance.

Last night a friend of mine asked me how I am and I proceeded to answer her commenting on how I am learning a new way to host short-term missions teams, how much I loved teaching my daughter’s second-grade class about heaven…. She perceptively replied: Why do you tend to comment on the externals of your life and not the internals. You tell me what you are doing but not how you are being.

That made me stop multi-tasking, look at the screen (we were on instant messenger) and ponder. Well, maybe because I usually am asking that question. Two, maybe because I have to start talking in order to eventually figure out how I am really doing inside. That is tough to do on-screen. But what if my two friends’ comments are related to what Henri Nouwen writes about the temptation for leaders to feel important, like when Jesus was tempted to turn the stones into bread. As a missionary I feel under constant pressure (mostly from within) to promote myself and the ministry. A part of me feels like I have to prove I am worthy of support, that by producing results I am “earning” it. I would do well to write and share what I do on this blog and otherwise out of a profound sense of being loved by God unconditionally, not to impress or gain applause. So the next time someone asks me how are you? Why not refer to my internal state of being and say something like: I am trying to be different. I am striving to be humble. I am struggling to become irrelevant.

No doubt that might make for some interesting conversations.

I would welcome any comments or insights you might like to give me as I proceed in this journey. If you haven’t tasted Henri Nouwen’s books, I assure you will enjoy a feast with this book: In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership (1994).

Sincerely trying to be irrelevant,

Lisa